I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She announced her abortion via fbk
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
