spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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