Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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