I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
