She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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