He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
