she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
