eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
