So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
