I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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