Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
