wrigley field is MILF paradise
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
