To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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