this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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