wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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