You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
