D3 body, D1 cock
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize