And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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