ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
