And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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