We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
