there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
