first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
