idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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