Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize