Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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