If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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