im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
