dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
