I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Alive.
So much puke
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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