soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
