What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
