So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
