last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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