franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize