so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
