I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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