I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
