the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
