508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
