were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
