Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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