As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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