But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
