how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
