I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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