I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
