You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
try to milk me bitch
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