New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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