She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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