You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
