5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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