Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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