God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
