theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
