Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
