He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
