You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize