you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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