3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we have pet lesbian snakes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
